go on, pull me under.

i learnt much today.

its admirable, how some can be so quick to forgive, not matter how outrageous the injustice done may be. i used to think it was plain meekness, maybe even cowardice, that led to such spontaneous forgiveness - that standing up and fighting back, letting the person have a piece of your mind was the right thing to do, but i was wrong. unleashing the beast probably seems like the most satisfying thing to do at that moment, but it probably isnt the wisest.

i think about that, keeping in mind that we're all irritating, selfish beings that probably agitate and upset God to no end all the time. come to think about it, if i were Him, we'd all be squished& die a great variety of horrible deaths. so thank God i'm human, and thank God He's God instead of anyone else.

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."- 1 Peter 3:9

so much to learn.

i wondered if i should post this, but i guess its fine. even if you dont read it, ive got a backup plan. (heh)

i'll let things lie low for now, all i hope for you is that you'll learn to let God in more parts of your life; perhaps thats the only way for you to find the person who'll always be there, who'll always understand. then, you wouldnt be afraid anymore. you wouldnt feel alone anymore. you wouldnt be so angry anymore. if youve got Him, you wont need anyone else. i long so deeply in my heart to tell you this, but i wouldnt know and i dont want to guess if my words hold any weight in your heart anymore. still, i'll try. all it takes is a little faith and courage, to step out and fall into His waiting arms. you and i know He'll never let you fall.

i really hope that you read this. that you'll take a little time to ponder, to consider giving it a shot. i'm doing this because i know (i hope i'm right) that you still read my blog, the same way i read yours. i'm not saying this because i'm trying to run away, or because i want to desert our friendship. its precisely because you mean so very much to me that i hope that you'll consider this notion; because i know that you'll find the perfect friend, the perfect confidante, the perfect companion, the perfect Father in Him, because you'll find in Him, everything that you couldnt find in me, or in anyone else. i havent been the greatest friend, that i know for sure, but i know very well that this is probably the best thing i could ever do for you.

i think about you alot, and wonder constantly about how you're doing. its really unsettling, not knowing whats going on for you, not because i'm possessive or anything to that effect. i dont even know if youre in singapore right now, and that speaks volumes. i dont know what time has done to our friendship or my status in your heart, but i do know that this is the answer that you need.

just one step, and God will run a thousand and more towards you.

just one.