hurt.

I wanted to type a really lengthy post about what I felt about all this crap thats happening, but I figured since you dont even seem to mean your words anymore it'd just be wasted words on my part.

If you feel so shitty about it, quit telling me that youre sorry and DO SOMETHING. Today I thought about how youre behaving and what youve become and I'm just left speechless. I cant type you a long, aesthetically-impressive post like J did, but I just hope you think about what youre doing today and think about what you really want. Is this life what you really want ? Cuz if it is, I dont see me being a part of it, besides being the person you run to when things get tough and confusing with him, which is something you dont really need, since there's always other people you can turn to like J and B and W. If this is how youre gonna live your life, I guess I dont want a part in it.

Harsh words, but you dont know how much it hurts and drives me crazy to see how youre bending over backwards just to be there for him and to give what he wants. Remember what you told me about such relationships and how you'd never put them above your friendships ?

It's not happening.

If this is the life that you want for yourself, then so be it. Just dont expect me to be there when everything falls apart and you find yourself wishing you'd done everything otherwise, exactly the way we'd advised you to. It's not that I dont love you anymore. Its just that I cant tolerate how youre making decisions right now. I love you, but I really cant live with that. I tried imagining tolerating that, but its really beyond my capacity to.

Must be quite a guy, huh ? That he can influence you to such extents.

I'm not abandoning our friendship, just that since youve shown me what you really treasure, then go ahead and let it be the priority in your life instead of letting two priorities vie for the first place in your heart.

Its fine with me.

But who says I have to like it ?