this moment,

i run, but it catches up with me. perhaps its time for me to take a new tack.

every time i sacrifice some time (which couldve been used to go out with ams ppl or whatever) or whatever else there is to sacrifice, it doesnt really sting, cuz knowing that its for a far worthier cause really overwrites any other recreational purpose which mostly involves teasing and gossiping.

i have You in my Crumpler, my PC, my phone, my Vaio, even. but what i'd really like to do is keep all of You deep inside my heart.

(this is random stuff. not trying to be cryptic about something specific, though i do that alot.)
the line between so many things can be so thin, but its still a line nonetheless, there's no denying it. and its never right to bend the rules even once, cuz from there, who's to know black from white ? well, it depends on the situation, really. i'm not as inflexible as that statement sounds. but i dont think its debatable that there are lines that cant be crossed, standards that must be met. i cant tolerate incompetence, (something i realised really recently) especially when i know what youre capable of.

why do people choose to give less than their best to God ? cuz its easy that way ? that makes me kinda sad. on their behalf. and angry, too. cuz Jesus definitely didnt decide to get off the cross after realising that the nails really hurt.

Jesus' definition of success would allow for no self-serving images. Our final self-image must be an image of servanthood.

i wondered about what my own definition of success was today; what i imagined myself to be at the peak of my adult life, and i suppose many images come to mind, particularly those with indications of wealth and power/status (high leadership positions, whatever) in our careers. not that i'm saying thats bad, cuz if thats a way to give our best for God, then great ! but such an image becomes one that brings glory to ourselves, no ? i'm successful cuz i'm rich and i earn 5figures a month and i'm nearly indispensable in the organisation i work in. i think about how.. conceited that sounds, and it irks me. but thats the self-centredness of human nature, no ? the world revolves around.. ourselves. i guess whats important is that in our pursuit for success, be it in our careers or in studies, God should always be in the centre. God should always be the motivation for success. striving for achievements is great, but when the motivation is to show the world that you simply rock, then it just becomes a mindless hankering after things that dont really matter.

i need to remember that, too.