we used to have this figured out/

You used to talk to me like

I was the only one around

You used to lean on me like

The only other choice was falling down

You used to walk with me like

We had nowhere we needed to go

Nice and slow to no place in particular

somehow, it seems quite a pity nowadays that i'm skipping training and feeling nothing for it anymore. i guess we get our little reminders in all sorts of ways. received the monthly newsletter from NS today, and it reminded me of how i am a member of netball singapore, a fact which i'd tucked away in a dusty corner of my mind since i stopped being active in cca. got a message from wantian, which informed me of a friendly with the juniors on tuesday. my heart skipped for a moment - before i remembered that i cant even umpire. elise called up just a moment ago, asking if i was interested in sharing wantian's present. she's got this birthday party business going on this sunday for the netballers, well it was actually meant to be a surprise from us to her but word got out i guess. still deciding if i should go ! though i think i probably wont, considering that i'd be going for the wrong reasons anyway. nsl is coming up. who am i going to go with ? maybe i'll give it a miss this year.

caregroup never fails to refresh me (: its one of the few things in the school week that i really look forward to, and the trouble of going down to hwachong doesnt seem to be any trouble at all, considering how much i receive from the teachings, worship, quiet time, and fellowship (: sometimes i think about how blessed i am - to be placed among so many believers - despite no Christian parentage whatsoever, and it seems like such a dream. alright then again, it may be cuz of the considerably pathetic (cough cough) size of my social circle, that it only extends to few people. well ANYHOW i still feel blessed. :D

i love my shepherd YVONNEEE ! her message to me in the morning really made my day. i thought about what she said during treatment, and the momentary pain seemed much more tolerable (: its rather amazing what a few sincere thoughts expressed in words can do.

more blessings ! again, its the little things. was supposed to go for treatment on my own from school when the clouds decided they wanted a change of environment and descended rather violently. you shouldve seen the rain today; its really madness. was getting rather worried as to how i was going to go down as i had to walk quite a distance from my stop to the clinic. then, just before my last lesson ended, i saw 6 missed calls on my phone and new messages from my dad - he'd driven down of his own accord to send me to the doctor. later, i learnt that he'd even gone to the general office to wait cuz i wasnt out on time and i hadnt replied his message. he'd even gotten a drink for me beforehand and apologized for not getting any food.

"i'd thought of calling you cuz the rain seemed quite.. intimidating, but was afraid that you were busy at work."
"yes i AM busy, but you think your daddy got so bad meh."

he accompanied me throughout the treatment and sent me home before going back to work. to some, it may be nothing much - perhaps you get driven around every day - but now i think about how he always seems to be there to ferry me around whenever i ask, despite his busy schedule and all, and i realise that this is his love language. he's not a romantic man, and perhaps he'll never be, no matter how many times i tell him to get flowers for my mother, but he expresses his love in more subtle, quiet ways that may seem to translate as lack of displays of affection, but not everyone expresses their love through affection, no ? thought about all of this amidst the thundering rain in the comfort of the car, and was reminded of my heavenly Father and the infathomable magnitude of His love (: i'd never really realised or admitted how much my father loved me, until he started to show it subtly but surely (or maybe when i started to let myself realise it) but now i'm sure that he does, and i look back at how horrible i'd been in the past to him and am ashamed beyond measure at my own.. ignorance.

i love you, Daddy(s). (:

well, on another note, have you realised how weirdy the weather's been lately? its close to th middle of the year, and its raining like madness like this. its getting worrying. maybe i should go learn to tread water soon. z.

service tomorrow ! super excitedd, as always. :D just realised i cant jump cuz of my bandaged ankle. dang. nevermind ! worship goes beyond that. (:

"have you made God smile today ?"