how amazing is Your love;

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

Singing this song in my head kept me sane while waiting for ams openhouse to begin. Shouldve just made a hasty getaway when I got the sms from Bigsis.

Got alot of words and alot of emotions, but I'm kinda drained. Lazy to string them together into coherent sentences.

Maybe the circumstances suck, but I realise I still can thank God for so much. Really thankful for Victoria, Julian, Simon, Dewen, Patrice and Aaron for being there and for doing everything yall did. It makes a difference to me.

And I thank God I still can talk to my grandma, even though sometimes I cant catch what she's saying cuz my Cantonese isnt that fantastic. I thank God that she still remembers my face, that she still smiles and responds to what I say, that when I hold her hand she knows I'm there though her eyes are closed.

Maybe you're thinking: You overreacted. Old people get hospitalized all the time.

But I love her. And when horrid stuff happens to someone you love, sometimes it just hurts so bad that you'd give anything to make things better.

That totally reminds me of God's love.

Stuff that happened today and yesterday really set me thinking, about what really matters to me.

I'm feeling the heat from all the projects/presentations/assignments and other miscellaneous schoolwork, and whats more term tests are approaching again. But after what happened to my grandma and after the talk with Jency (the shepherd who totally rocks your socks) yesterday, I started thinking about what I really wanna use my life for, and I came back to the same answer I had before; I wanna use my life for something that truly lasts, something thats truly meaningful.

I vividly recall this msn conversation I had with Jon not too long ago, about how he wanted to use his life for something meaningful and not work just for the money. And in my heart I was totally going, yeah thats exactly how Ive felt for a long while.

So yeah. Studies are important, that I dont deny. But when it comes to top priority, thats definitely not it. Nor is selfish gain or the each-man-for-himself mentality.

Some people (maybe you) might think I'm naive/dumb when I say I wanna love others more than myself. What do you gain from that, says you.

The beauty of love is not in receiving - its in giving. The joy I get in receiving will never be comparable to the joy that I experience in giving.

Besides, what could I receive from people that I dont already have ? In God's perfect love, I have everything I could possibly need.